How To Eat Your Woman’s P*ssy So Good That She Starts Speaking Ancient Hebrew
Posted by Media Outrage on August 10, 2009
We already told the ladies how to give their men proper fellatio, so good that their toes play hop-scotch. Well now, as promised, we’re back with the tutoring guide for all those men lacking in the p*ssy eating department, and we know it’s a lot of you muthaf*kas!
There are some men that walk around thinking, that if they just keep their woman laced in the flyest ish, like, Gucci, Prada, Coach and keep their hair did (yes we said hair did), nails done, toes painted, and in all types of sparkling stones, that they’ve got it made in the relationship shade. Uh, gotta give you a big NO on that one. Women, like, men, are very sensual creatures. They like to be loved, talked to, caressed, held and f**ked so hard from the back, that they need a spinal replacement. But what women really love, is to see their man hit their knees and wrap her thighs around his shaven head.
So lets get into the appropriate way to eat the smushy! Follow us on in here….
Brothers, your woman wants to get the sex poppin’ but also desires to feel a lot of tongue. So if you’re not doing it, you best believe that on her lunch break some anaconda-tongued n*gga named Jamal, with a big-ass gap, IS!
1. Fellas when you’re chilling with your woman and things are starting to get a little heated under the collar, sometimes its best to just eat it, rather than beat it. Being able to make your woman cum with your mouth is an added bonus, and it might just get you that coveted grill-cheese sammich!
2. You should gently kiss her ear, then make your way down her neck and belly-button. When you reach that yellow brick road of pelvic-hair, continue and gently rub your face all between her thighs. Let her know that you’re enjoying pleasing her. That’s the most important rule of thumb. If you enjoy doing it, most likely you’re going to be willing to pull out all the stops to ensure she cums harder than a n*gga doing life in prison at a congical visit.
3. Proceed to utilize your tongue by licking the clitoris. This is the MOST sensitive area down there. Proper and constant erotic stimulation of the clitoris will have your woman harlem-shaking it out on them sheets. Once again, fellas, familiarize yourselves with this body-part….the clitoris, it is your friend!
4. Give her a little tongue inside the vagina just to let it know you’re down there. As she continues to moisten you might want to use a finger or two very gently! Being a man and having knife long dirty ass fingernails while poking your woman to death, is not her idea of SEXY at all!
5. Carress her thighs while you’re putting your mouth to use in her vagina. Allow and encourage her to wrap them around your head and neck. Look up at her while eating it and gage her reactions. Some things feel way better than others. You’ll be able to read those, by her facial expressions, moans and general instructions from her, like; lick it slower, now faster, faster, faster, faster muthaf*cka!!!!
6. Stick your tongue all-the-way in her vagina and let her insides feel you. Then get back to the clitoris and using your fingers, spread the lips open so that the clitoris is completely defensless and EXPOSED!
7. Once the clitoris is exposed, lick that sucka like it had super powers contained in it.
8. As you lick it, it will GROW. You will feel it expanding and getting larger. That is what you want! You want to put it in your mouth and massage it with your lips fellas. Gently rubbing your teeth over it will do the trick also. Just be very gentle with that!
9. By this time the lower half of your grill piece should be wetter than hurricane Katrina. You might even want to flip the script and allow her to sit on your face and proceed to ride your mouth. That will give excellent sensation to her.
10. No matter what you do, don’t abandon your post of eating that smushy, until she’s came and came and came again. If you can make a woman experience multiple orgasms, she’ll love you forever! While you’re licking and still giving the clitoris extra attention, and you hear her say she’s about to cum, continue licking more intensely, until she nearly drowns your grill piece in her bodily juices. This will keep YOU on her mind all day at work. She will be excited and READY to see you as soon as she gets off and will not have went anywhere NEAR that n*gga Jamal with the GAP! Trust and believe……
The MO staff will be back with more bedroom and romance advice in the near future……